Sunday, February 05, 2006

MSN Messenger's personal messages and more

I had naïvely thought that with the introduction of MSN's "personal messages", people would use them instead of having essay-length quips in their name.

However, it seems that people now have shit in their name AND in the personal message. Personal messages were created for a reason - you put your exciting news summary (you know, like "@ city bying stuf", "PUT A (F) IN UR NAME TO RAISE AWARENESS OF 9/11", "omfg mi dad is so meen" and "(8)u dnt no wot itz lyk wlcum 2 mi lyf(8)" - usually all strung together separated by broken heart emoticons) into one and save everybody else the annoyance of having to read it EVERY TIME YOU SEND A MESSAGE.

Like I said, people have just taken the personal message to mean that now you can have TWICE the shit appearing on your contacts' desktops.

Here's a demonstration of how annoying these long names could be if you're not the sort of person who keeps one program open, maximized at all times (ie. someone who uses the computer for reasons other than "ch@in 2 m8s on msn"). Just imagine how bad it would be if you had multiple people in the same conversation.

A typical conversation with MSN names of reasonable length. Note that the entire conversation fits in the window with no need for scrolling.
Short names.
Once people have long names, you must scroll down! Fuck no!
Long names.

Now I really didn't have that much of a problem with it when there was no alternative, since having info like this is occasionally useful and I don't have a huge thing against people who like advertising their inside jokes. However, since we've got personal messages, PUT SHIT IN THERE INSTEAD, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST. I have to admit though, Microsoft fucked up pretty bad when they made it so that personal messages "basically don't work properly yet", that is, they don't always "save" unless you close MSN Messenger properly, and they're not portable (if you sign in on one MSN client and change your PM, that won't be reflected on another client, unlike your MSN name and contact list).

Moving on, something else that really shits me about MSN: those people that add you to their list that you don't really give a shit about (so you don't immediately start talking to them), then 20 minutes later open a conversation with you asking "hu iz dis?". Why the fuck did you add me in the first place asshole? Now if these people were spammers or mail order brides trying to find a "business partner" than I wouldn't have so much of a problem with it, but invariably they're the 12-year-old third cousin twice removed of someone you once talked to on MSN because they asked you the same question.

Or how about the people that change email addresses and demand that you "add their new addy"? First off, there are very few reasons to change addresses in the first place. These include:

  • You were using an email address given to you by your workplace, from which you have been fired for using MSN or browsing midget pornography during work time;
  • You discovered that Hotmail sucks ass and decided to switch to Gmail because at the time Hotmail only had 2MB of storage and you like having searchable email;
  • Your email account was otherwise disabled or deleted (note: this does not include getting that email account banned from signing up on your favourite teen forum);
  • You're changing your identity due to someone stalking you.
Other reasons frequently cited for a change of email address that are NOT reasonable include:
  • Your old email address was, but now it's 2006, and you want to be the first person to secure (helpful hint: don't put the year in your email address!);
  • Your old email address was, but James dumped you for a hotter, smarter, and all-round better person;
  • Your old email address was, but ever since "emo music" became uncool you decided not to like them anymore;
  • Your old email address was because you hate Jimmy Eat World, but many people misinterpreted it;
  • Your old email address was, but now you're fat, ugly, boring and nobody likes you;
  • You forgot your old email addresss;
  • Someone blocked you;
  • You "just got sick of the old one".
Furthermore, even if you do change email address, there is a MUCH easier way to get all your contacts back than simply telling people to add your new address, and it saves the potential embarassment of asking your best friend to re-add you only to discover that they don't even know who you are. Here it is, supplied to you exclusively by my blog:
Transferring contact lists from one account to another
  1. Sign into your old account.
  2. Click Contacts at the top of the screen (or press Alt+C if you've hidden the menu bar), then select Save Contact List.
  3. Save your contact list to a location of your choice.
  4. Sign into your new account.
  5. Click Contacts at the top of the screen (or press Alt+C if you've hidden the menu bar), then select Import Contacts from a File.
  6. Hopefully by now you haven't forgotten where you saved your contacts from before. Locate the file and double-click it.
  7. Your contact list has been imported, celebrate by writing some poetry.

Finally, one more thing to rant about, though this applies to all the internet, not just MSN. The following phrases have been way overused and are no longer funny:

  • FTW
  • roflcopter
  • Chuck Norris / Vin Diesel
  • FPS Doug / Boom Headshot
This list of course is supplementary to all the other words that used to be cool but aren't any more (eg. LOL, pwned, hax, 1337, et cetera). Thankyou.


G-Nat said...

Well I was going to post a positive comment, saying that I totally agree with the whole email thing, but i disagree with the last bit. FTW is good. But yes, boom headshot people should get an identity. I'd really like to know what particular thing inspired you to write this post though.

splintax said...

1. Noticing that someone's msn name + personal message was not readable even with the window totally maximized (that's 1400px across)
2. Reading a web site on which someone said FTW, alt-tabbing to gmail in which someone said it then alt-tabbing to a conversation to which someone said it. It is seriously, seriously overused. I know of at least one IRC channel that added it to the profanity filter so that you get kicked when using it. FTW is the worst of all the phrases I posted there.

Julia said...

your wrong LOL, pwned, hax, 1337 were never cool :-P and yeah I have shortened my name for the moment. this blog was so harsh it actually made me laugh, nice. Still doesnt change the fact that long names don't annoy me.

Anonymous said...

I usually do not mind when people have longer names, and I think it annoys only some people..but the content however does irritate me from time to time. I shortened my user name a while ago so it only reads my name, but still use the PM box for other "news" or "information". User names are for knowing who you are talking to, not spilling the latest gossip about how you love your boyfriend so, and who you saw at a concert.
Msn "slang" can be irritating for some to read, and i think it is more likely to annoy you if you choose to take particular notice to it, rather than read it for its meaning...several sayings, phrases and acronyms are severly over used these days, and its just something to accept...

splintax said...

Julia: 1337 was cool way back in the days of BBSes, but that was a long time ago.

Anonymous: Basically the way I feel, except it pisses me off so much I decided to write a few pages on it ;)

Anonymous said...

You know, after a while being a cynical loner who just complains about anything and everything gets old.

...and if you dont want to scroll down, it's called Autoscroll. Try it.

splintax said...

Autoscroll? That's the problem. MSN autoscrolls down every time someone sends a message, so if there are lots of people or just someone saying lots of stuff with a ridiculously long name, you have to scroll up again to find out what the fuck's going on - and then MSN autoscrolls down for you again.

It might sound petty, but seriously, why do people have to have such long names? It's unnecessary and annoying.

As for the "cynical loner" thing, you might want to have a look at some of my other posts? They're not all bitching and moaning (and I'm not the one anonymously insulting people on their blogs).

choclat.bubbals said...

dumdidumdidum ... lol this made me laugh as well =P
som times u jst can't fix the whole world. Or correct ppl whr they go wrong (if it is in the first place) cos we r human beings who make mistakes ALL the fuking time =P
som good points made, particularly the long name one. Hate that ... =(

Anonymous said...

Am trying to figure out why you use MSN Messenger when you could be using something like Miranda-IM, which allows you to rename anyone to whatever you want.

I personally rename everyone's handle to their real first name.

Princess Sam said...

WOW! You are angry! Personally I find men with anger very VERY sexy............Love........................(r) princess sam (r) im selling my brother, 99p ONO (lol) i like cherry yoghurts and double JD and coke (r) dont be so angry (r) enjoy the rainbows(r)...................enjoy my new name sexy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Got to agree with splintax... newbs in general piss me off.

nathan said...

totally agree, with ur whole blog... i dont know what made me actually to continue reading further into it, ur site's really good, alot of effort put in.

There was one thing that stumped me, what does FTW mean?

splintax said...

"For the win".

Anononymous said...

then why do u tolk to people on msn if they don't like u,
just to get ure stupid picture's, try spending time on somthing usefull.

FTW in game terms... meens - - - - the world

Super Queen said...

those blogs r soo funny, well some of them anyway. I really like ur web but i totally disagree cos my names r always long and i love em that way so it won't change my ways soz.

anyhow i love it but i reallly wanna know why why why??? there is so much more u can add like shorter but cool msn names so maybe people use them instead of there long names.

I actually look on the net 4 cool phrases 4 my msn name & personal messages i only came around this corner 2 ur web wen i was lookin 4 a neat personal message.

So try suggest some i'll come back 2 c if u have wrote back with some advice or if u have updated this webbie:);)=)

Anonymous said...

dunt b afraid 2 swear baby ;)
i luv ure syte its awesum
oh & v nice comments but geez u shudnt insult pplz on their own webbies
yeh & i luv msn slang but like u, i h8 long names
and autoscroll is even more fucking annoying than scrolling manually so HAHA!

hey super queen, try dis 1;
If A gUy TeLlS YoU tO sUcK iT, sAy "SoZ, i ChOkE oN sMaLl ObJeCtS" or go to

Anonymous said...

Wow this is amazing - the content of the replies decreased linearly the later they were added.

Anonymous said...

Why have you gone sooo mental over long msn names.
Have more bloody patience.
Yeah you have to scroll down, So what?
If you dont like the people you are talking to then dont talk to them.
Thats a simple answer, better than going crazy over having to scroll down and read their bloody name. =] Its just good advicee

Anonymous said...

in msn what does Aur Chora? mean

Devon said...

I have to agree with everything that you wrote in this blog entry, I found this consequently while searching for something random on Google.

With that said, people with long drawn out names filled with random emoticons is truly obnoxious. I hate having to scroll up and read what a person said because they just typed 3 lines and now I have no idea what they said; aside of course for the punch lines.

I also have to say, I cannot stand people who feel the need to type lyk dey bee fkin rtards. It takes more time to type like that than it does to just type properly. I had to strain myself to try and type like a 6 year old girl with down syndrome subsequently being beaten by her father.

Anonymous said...

What Does Ftw Stand for?

Anonymous said...

whoever made this blog dosnt have anyin 2 do with their life n prbly has no1 2 tok 2 on msn sad sad person!

Gaurav said...

Try to put *unicef in personal message and see what happen.

Anonymous said...

hii sup my name tori n im 14 i agree who eva made this shit there a retared ....... ooh n my msn isss soo add me im HOTT!!!