Thursday, December 22, 2005

Online petitions

When are people going to learn that petitions, much less online petitions, don't do shit. Fuck!

You may have heard of a site called PetitionOnline.com, which offers free online petitions. A similar service is offered by PetitionSpot. God.

Let's go through some of these petitions. For starters, the "most active" petitions on PetitionOnline include "INVESTIGATE VIETNAM FOR CONTINUED VIOLATION OF CAMBODIA’S NATIONAL SOVEREIGNTY AND SURVIVAL" with 3623 signatures at the moment. It's a letter addressed to the President of the United States asking him to "investigate" relations between Vietname and Cambodia, ie. start a war as far as I can see. Assuming he is able to read the letter, I can't see Bush suddenly saying "let's go declare war on them", unless oil mysteriously appears in Vietnam or something.

So PetitionOnline is pretty worthless, but PetitionSpot is another completely different level of shite. "Ricky is NOT ugly" is currently on the front page as one of the most active petitions. Similar petitions include "we heart emo hair", "PETITION SPOT BLOWS", "Eminem Sux" ("maybe it is time he came out of his closet and let everyone no he is really gay wit dr uhh dre i think it is or wait nooo its dr gay!! now i remember"), or "Make All MMORPG's FREE". What kind of dumb fuck would think that companies like Blizzard would just give up US$100 million per month (based on US$20 per month subscription fee and 5 million active subscriptions to World of Warcraft) just because a couple of people signed a petition saying "it should be free like any other game". MMORPGs have ongoing costs (moderators, servers etc.) unlike "other games", dumbass.

While most petitions have stupid concepts behind them, KKK KILLAS not only is a ridiculous idea for a petition ("KKK SUCKS MAN. THEY SHOULD DIE! HAHAHAHHA. MUHAHHA") it has inspired hundreds of idiots from all walks of life (read: both black people and white people) to comment on either how "niggers deserve to be working on the farm" or "black people have bigger cocks than honkeys". Oh yeah and also "you rasists suk". I post as of now the newest 50 or so signatures in their full unedited (just restyled) glory.

NameComments
366shizzle
kkk sucks evry body knows eat there just white pppl that has sexs with ther hats
365yomama
kkk suck the ponty things on there head are used to have gay ses fuck the kkk
364KoRn
lol kkk already xist? they dont give a shit they are fucking death , whites and blacks fucking sucks
363the man
What strikes me is the effort that you people put into this and all it really is ,is free advertising for the Klan.

Thank You for all the support.
88
Long live the Klan!!!
362MIKE
FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK THE KKK FUCKING DUMB BASTARDS I'M WHITE I I HATE RACISM ESPECIALLY WHITE PEOPLE WHO THINK THERE BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE JUST CAUSE THERE WHITE FUCK THE KKK!!!FUCK THE NAZIZ AND FUCK BUSH TOO!!!!
361SCHWARTZENEGGER
HA HA HA HA. THE KKK RULES MOTHER FUCKERS. BUT SKIN HEADS ARE BETTER. ALL OF YOU WIGGER RICE BURNER DRIVING MTV FOLLOWING NIGGER LOVERS WILL ALL GO BACK TO AFRICA WITH THE NIGGERS BEANERS AND EVERYONE ELSE. ALL OF YOU GET IN LINE TO KISS MY ASS.WE WILL BE A WHITE NATION AGAIN!!!!! FUCK EACH AND EVERY ONE OIF YOU WHO SIGNED THIS PETITION!!!
360joe
Damn straight number 342
359Dom
These fucking pointy hat white ass wiping jerk offs are all going to burn in the gates of hell. And when you do I will laugh. Do you know how there founder died he got poked in the eye with that gay pointy hat. Have fun in hell you white ass wiping fuckers
358Dude
They will burn in hell every one of them just like there finder
357WWE_Angel
I support this petition.the kkk suck, there is no chance in hell that they will get what they want cuz they seriously need 2 get thei freakin facts rite, white niggas (no offense 2 anyone who is against the kkk)thats rite if they call black ppl niggas they must b white niggas, fuck them, the most racist organisation ever nd y, cuz black ppl got their freedom, how selfish can u get???
356kassie
i just wanna remind 'THE DEMON WITHIN'(#42) that he shouldn't say that only the whites own america.

first of all, america is actually originally owned by the NATIVE AMERICANS... and the whites, then.. took it away from them in 'UNCIVILIZED' ways. i have a lot of white friends and i am not hating whites at all. in fact, i hate the fact they (some of 'em..) think that they should be superior.

by saying that foreigners make america dirty..is like saying that he is, as well, technically..'coz the white americans are not the original people of america.

know your history, THE DEMON WITHIN', sir. as an american military..i think that you should set a good example to other countries..show them that americans are educated and respectful.

thank you!
355Bryan Millsap
I support this petition.
354kkk fucker
KKK are just facist racist and bitch.They are against evolution and race minorities.They are only a group of son-of-a-bitch who try to look tought but they failed they are cock sucker and dog fucker.EAT THIS KKK PRICK
353bigfknhec
The KKK stands for Korny Kracker Kunts...i remember not too long ago maybe a couple of months ago they tried marching somewhere in the south and got jumped by the "hood"...i loved seeing it too...
352Angry Fucker
They should change to CKC:
Culture Killing Cunts
351THRASH
The kkk is the biggest group of fags I have ever seen, I'm mean they all wear a dress and look like crackheads. What do they represent....
The freak show?! My high school chess team can stand up to them.
350taylor epley
the kkk just needs to go straight to hell
349Cassioe
Yo nigger i think the KKK is white trash hicks that need to get over them selfs cause it aint the way of god god wants us to all be together as one io no iot may sound cheesy but its true
348gabriel
not only fuck the kkk fuck everything that is racist!
347madeline
not all whites are kkk we can't help being white any differently than u can help being black
these days to get ahead u have to be black sooo wat u on about
the kkk were bad pplz wateva their race
like the suicide bombers they are claiming to be doing thid on behalf of a religion that they break the 1st rule of it by doing that
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
346KKKkiller
FucK the KKK they suck big white cocks!!
345jolis friend
jolis is rights just that he ment reipers isted of rapers
344jolis friend
jolis is rights just that he ment reipers isted of rapers
343joli
kkk are a bunch of fucking pussys rapers . KKk is full of fucking old bastards bothering others. So kkk motherfuckers we are going to kill you. Watch out idiots.
342Jam
if u kkk fuckers dont want us in america then why tha fuck did u bringus here in tha first place,since i KNOW u dont have AN ANSWER TO THAT JUST STFU!!!

I hope that this has inspired you to never sign a fucking online petition, as it will do jack shit. For more ranting about the worthlessness of petitions, see Maddox.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was funny! Omg! I really do not like the KKK but it won't help having a petition

FESTLER U COONS said...

HOW TO BE A WORTHLESS, VILE, AMERICAN YARD-APE!!!!

Slink around, shuffling your feet and bobbing your neck like the lazy retard you are.
- Walk down the middle of the street because you don't know what a sidewalk is for.
- Hang out at carwashes and mini-marts because everybody knows these are the best places to be a dope, I mean dope.
- If you're a nigger bitch, shit three nigger babies into the world before 17 years of age. This assures that welfare money will support you, so your nigger men have more time to commit crimes. Oh yes, make sure each nigger baby has a different father.
- Bastardize the English language in the name of nigger culture. Make sure that several terms have multiple meanings and others have ambiguous meanings and that only 50% of nigger words are even complete words. Real niggers will know what you're trying to say.
- As a culture, make sure there are always more bucks in prison than in college at any given time.
- Hang out in packs of 10 to 15 and make sure everyone acts as annoying as possible. This helps to promote nigger individuality.
- Always talk loud enough so everyone in the 'hood' can fucking hear you, and if they are niggers, they will know what your saying, bro.
- Wear clothes that are 10 sizes too big, making sure the pants hang off your ass. Also huge pants facilitate stealing (let me translate that: "it be easier to lift dat 'box at the Kmart, homes"). If you have to hold them up while you walk, it only looks badder.
- Park at least 5 junk cars in your yard while being careful not to use the driveway. It's OK to abandon them in the street as long as it's in front of someone else's crib.
- Exaggerate every motion, every tonal inflection and grab your dick a lot.
- Have red carpet, blue walls, brass and overstuffed furnishings (all rented), purple bathrooms and keep all windows covered so that no light can enter and no cops can see in while you...
- Do drugs, sell drugs, make drugs.
- Turn your backyard into a junk yard. If you don't have a backyard, turn your mother's into a junk yard. Eliminate every blade of grass.
- Travel around leaching off relatives, friends, salvation armies. Abandon your children with them also.
- Smack your kids and yell at them a lot. Make them feel less than human and that they have no future, which they don't because they're niggers like you.
- Drink cheap wine and malt liquor every day, forgetting that "malt liquor" is just fortified cheap beer.
- If you're a nigger buck: fuck anything that moves, no matter how ugly she is. After two eight-balls, even the ugliest, fattest nigger bitch will look good.
- Be charitable and covet fat, ugly white chicks. After all, they're niggers too. They can't help being so undesirable to white men that they have to fraternize with black dudes on a 20/20 trip. And white ho's are a special trophy too, especially the not so ugly ones.
- Spray paint everything in sight with scribbles that mean nothing to White people but mean things to fellow niggers (except niggers from another hood who will probably try to kill you for tresspassing on their turf)
- Use the term "motherfucker" in every sentence. It's one of the most versatile words in the nigger language, being a noun, verb, adjective and complete mini-sentence in event you run out of thoughts.
- Stop in the middle of the street, blocking all traffic to converse with fellow niggers and have complete disregard for everyone else.
- Delay everybody at the checkouts while you and 3 other dudes fumble around for the $1.42 for the bottle of Magnum.
- Clog isles at Kmart with strollers, bastard kids and your fat selves. If you're a cashier, never look at or be cordial to a customer and always talk to other niggers while you ring up the customer.
- Overcharge customers at Taco Bell and pocket the difference.
- Drive your car while slouched so low that you can barely see over the wheel (gangsta drivin').
- Get a job under affirmative action. Then sit around all day pretending that you earned the position and that the other co-workers respect you. Whenever you fuck up, scream "racism!" & hope you get enough Generation X liberals in the jury.
- Never, I mean NEVER, take any responsibility for your actions. Always blame others including Asians, Latinos, Mexicans, and especially Whites for your sorry ass stupid lives.
- Advertise your "nation" (gang) with a bewildering array of colors that mean nothing to any one but other nig's. Oh yes, if another nig violates your "nation" i.e. garbage strewn empty lots and burned out tenements, shoot their ass.
- Look for identity in murderous criminal gangs when you can't find it in broken nigger homes because your mother was a 15 year old cokewhore and your father is in jail doing 5 to 15 for pistol whipping a mini-mart cashier.
- Be all concerned with east/west connections, cellular phones, beepers, drive by's and other trivial bullshit that Whites will never understand anything about (what's to understand?)
- Lament ghetto gang life while at the same time...
- Listen to rap "music", which glorifies "gangsta" life, crime, drugs, murder, early death, oppression of women. Rip off other legit music to fabricate rap music which probably takes an engineering degree to "write" (because of the technical know-how to operate the machines) while not requiring any music talent at all. Then get some young criminal scum to perform it, after changing his name to something stupid like Snoopy Dog. Spell the name of the group with phonetics and use a number in it because nig's really like that.
At least rap is an opportunity, e.g. for young black criminals to further their criminal careers. Rap needs only four things to be successful:
a producer, a promoter, a front-man flunky, and MTV to shove it down our throats. Be sure to say absolutely nothing important during the 5 pages of dialogue in a given rap joint other than "look at how much of a nigger I can be." Then roll a joint in the joint and think about the joint while stylin' to the joint.
- Show other lame-ass races the black race is unique by having a culture/lifestyle that results in diseases/poverty/birth rates for blacks consistently rising while it falls for the others.
- Fear and loathing of dogs is set in the genes for nig's. Of course bigotry against blacks is set into the genes of dogs. So be sure to get a dog, tie it up in the cold and mud and neglect it until it dies. Then start all over again.
- Always have ten excuses involving hospitals for why you can't pay your bill. When or if you finally settle up, pull out a big wad of bills out of the welfare check to do it. Cash must be used because you long ago fucked up your credit and checking account.
- Cram 5 generations into a two room government apartment and still be able to neglect your kids.
- Die young. The #1 cause of death for nigger males between 15 and 30 is murder.

NIGGER JOB APPLICATION

It is not necessary to attach a photo since all Coons look alike. NAME_________________________ALIAS:_______________________ DATE________________ ADDRESS________________________________________________________________________ (If living in automobile give make, model & license number) NAME OF MOTHA_________________________ NAME OF FATHA___________________________ (If known) MAKE OF AUTOMOBILE: Cadillac___________Lincoln____________Imperial_____________ Number of children claimed on Welfare__________________________________________ Number of legitimate Children (If Any)_________________________________________ Marital Status: Common Law________ Shacked Up__________ Place of birth: Crack House________ City dump___________________ Zoo________________ Back Alley__________________ Free Public Hospital_____________________________ Approximate Estimate of Income: Welfare $__________ Unemployment $____________ Theft $____________ Drug deals $______________ Check machines you can operate: Typewriter_____________Adding Machine__________ Afro-pick______________Drugs scale_____________ Switch Blade___________Injection needle________ Saturday nite special_______Crack pipe_________ Check foods you like best: Ribs___________________ Watermelon_____________ Grits______________ All of the Above___________ Total days spent in prison or detention center:________________________________ (attach additional sheets if necessary) Check illnesses you may have had in the last year: Measles_________Mumps_________ Gonorrhea_________Syphilis_________AIDS_________ Average Drug overdoses per year_________________ (If still alive) Abilities: Gang banging____________________ Demonstratin'_________________ Gang Raping_____________________ Drug Pushin'__________________ Gangsta rapping_________________ Robbin'_______________________ All of the Above________________ Pimpin'_______________________ In 50 words or less, describe your greatest desire in life: (other than sodomizing a white girl) _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ I,__________________________________(X or signature), I swars thatzs dis answered to bests of dis naggers abilty, and thats I swars thatzs I willz alwayzs looks likea nagger, dress likea nagger, actsa likea nagger, and smellas likea nagger. Isa believes in dis NAACP thats wesa naggers is better than all white folks is. I's pramise do everythang to's increase nagger papulations, so's help me Lawd!

NIGGER MATH TEST

The following exam was given to LA Chimp-Americans by a former LS school teacher: Name:___________ Alias:____________ Gang:____________ 1. Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots, and he shoots 13 times at every drive by shooting, how may drive by shootings can he enjoy before he has to reload? 2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Ricky for $320 and 2 grams to D.J. for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it? 3. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If his price is $65 per Joe, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit? 4. Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound pound of heroin and make a 20% profit. How many ounces of cut will he need? 5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for stealing a Chevy, and $200 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $1000? 6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison, and how many years will he get for killing her for spending his money? 7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 8 square feet, how many letters can Tagger spray if he steals 3 cans of paint and finds 1 can of paint 1/3 empty? 8. Hector has knocked up 6 girls in his gang. If there are 27 girls in the gang, what percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up? 9. Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $235 per month rent goes up 15%, how many children should she have to keep up with expenses? 10. Salvator was arrested for dealing crack and his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose for jumping bail?

FO SHIZZLE!!!!